Review Version - Amstrad CPC 464
Publisher - Amsoft
I didn’t have much money as a kid, so most of the games I played on my Amstrad were the ones that came free with the machine. They were called the Amsoft 12 and they weren’t about to set the world of gaming on fire, but they at least were free.
Bridge-It was one of those 12 and as a kid I hated it. This and Sultan's Maze were easily the least-played games I had. Why didn’t I like it? Read on…
First, though, the official Amsoft story:
Really? Invented bridges? Do you really invent bridges? Don’t they just kind of exist in nature before you even start thinking about bricks and stuff?
Let no one say I am slapdash with these reviews, for I have looked into this and apparently it was Neolithic people who first started to make bridges as we know them today. There you go, fact for the day.
By the way, that is the whole story, there is nothing else to tell you. What a sad day for storytelling!
The Game
The game basically consists of you controlling the bridge (of which there are 4) and ensuring that the people in the town don’t fall into the water.
At first, it's just one man running from the house at the top to the house at the bottom. I don’t know why he is running, but I do know that is a bad idea around water. It literally tells you this at every swimming pool in the universe.
The fact that the bridges are up by default is a worrying aspect. Why would this be the case? Would them being down just make more sense?
Anyway, the game continues and more and more people come out of the house, where at times you have to time really well the dropping of the bridges.
They all come out of the same house and they all head to the same house, which begs a question: What is going on in those houses? I feel this could have been explained more in the official story, but I fear the makers had already exhausted their story-writing on the first two sentences.
Lazy Graphics
Given they spent so long on the storyline for the game, they clearly had to rush the graphics, because even for an 8-bit game, these graphics are lazy.
The people running from house to house are all identical. Okay, I don’t expect Street Fighter 2-level individual people with whole backstories, but do they all have to be identical? Even the odd colour swap wouldn’t have hurt.
I’m not sure if the people are wearing hats or if that's hair. In fact, for years, I thought they were old-style school teachers wearing mortar boards. Why would teachers be running between houses in the water town? I dunno, Jesus, do I have to come up with everything?!
The arms are really confusing as well. Why are they a different colour from everything else? If they are meant to be skin-coloured, then why aren’t they the same colour as the face? Are they neon sleeves? This is the ’80s, after all.
The actual animation of the people seems to be two frames long; no money was spent here, ladies and gentlemen.
There is no animation for the people falling into the water, which is a big loss. The comedy that comes from people falling in water is huge. Perhaps the developers thought having the little people floundering in the water would detract from the core game mechanic, and by detract I mean cause everyone to leave the bridges open in the hopes of watching them fall in.
The bridges are literally open or closed with zero movement between the two. I’m not saying it would have improved the game, but it’s the little things that help.
In the background, you'll notice that none of the other houses are even connected. Is this because they can’t afford the bridges? Maybe they own boats. Is a boat cheaper than a bridge?
The Verdict
I'm sure some people enjoy it, the sort of people who grow up to think beige is a personality choice. Frankly, I hated it, like really hated it. It was hard and frustrating, and the payoff was pathetic. Did I win a medal for saving lives, perhaps a bridge named after me? No, nothing, just the same level over and over again, but with more people.
Like I said, it came free with the Amstrad, so to be a little bit fair, it was never going to be a masterpiece, but come on, this is just awful. It would take years for bridges to make a comeback in gaming, just think about that.
If there are any redeeming qualities of this game, then it's the lesson that building your town badly always ends up with someone having to spend their life correcting the mistakes. Not me, though. Another bridge would be just too far.
Bonus Box Art
When I was young, this game annoyed me for one very obvious reason.
Look at the box art.
If someone produced that today, everyone would say it was AI.
Firstly, look at his weird hand. Why is his hand like that? Does living on the water cause weird hand mutations?
Why is he wearing underwear instead of shorts or trousers?
The thing is, that wasn't the bit that bothered me the most. What really annoyed me is what he is doing…
He is jumping over a bridge! I’m here wasting my time opening and closing the bridges, and this dude is happily jumping over them.
Not even that, but he isn’t even jumping over the bridge in a way that makes sense. He is clearly jumping from the water side to the other as if the bridge is some kind of hurdle. Why would he do that? Did the people at Amsoft not understand bridges? Did they speak to an artist and say the name of the game is Bridge-It, and the artist clearly thought:
Bridge-It
Free with the Amstrad, but that doesn't make it good.
A frustrating game that I hated as a kid and don't think much more of now.