Review Version - Amstrad CPC
Developer - Micro Power
Publisher - Micro Power
The 80s gaming scene was a lawless time, where copyright meant nothing and intellectual property meant you owned an encyclopedia.
In many ways, it’s much like today's mobile gaming market. When someone has a good idea or a runaway hit, it gets copied again and again. Just how many zombie games do we need?
Also, much like today, they were subtle in their names. Instead of Age of Empires, you have Empire of Ages, or Angry Sparrows instead of Angry Birds. Back then, we had Munch-Man and Galactic Invaders.
Totally not Pac-Man at all, promise.
Killer Gorilla is one of those games. A game that wore its “inspiration” on its sleeve.
Donkey Kong
Notice the subtle difference later.
Donkey Kong was a huge game when it was released in the arcades and has probably been ported to every computer known to man.
The 80s meant there were a large number of computers all waiting for their port, but while it made sense to have a C64 and a Spectrum version (they were the big sellers), other machines made less sense and so the game may never be ported at all.
The Amstrad did eventually have an official version of Donkey Kong, but it came out several years after Killer Gorilla and so was probably an afterthought.
Killer Gorilla doesn't appear to have a storyline. I assume it’s basically the same as Donkey Kong, which, quite frankly, isn’t very exciting. So I am going to write the story for this game. I hope you are sitting comfortably…
The Story, Apparently
Okay, so Ginger Kevin (that’s you) was bullied a lot at school (because he was ginger and he had a BBC Micro) and didn’t know what to do about it.
One day, while visiting the local zoo, he saw a baby gorilla. He decided to steal it, and because of the lax attitude to security in 1980s zoos, he managed it and brought it home. He raised the gorilla, whom he named Dave, to be his bodyguard.
Everything was going great for Ginger Kevin. Dave beat up all the bullies, and Ginger Kevin was treated like a king.
One day, Kevin met Doris. Ginger Kevin fell madly in love with her. Unfortunately, Dave, fearing he was about to lose his best friend, kidnapped Doris and ran away with her to the barrel/Custard Pie/Swimming Pool factory (this bizarre industry will make sense later).
Ginger Kev, Doris and Dave
Now your job as Ginger Kev is to rescue Doris.
Now tell me why I am not the head writer for a game studio? That story has everything: gorillas, bullies, sex appeal.
Anyway, so Dave has Doris held at the top of the building. You have to make your way up there to rescue her.
Dave, Doris and the World's Weirdest Love Triangle
Now, for years, I assumed Doris was sitting on a bed and that Dave was perhaps sexually attracted to Doris. This odd relationship I invented in my head was compounded by the fact that when Dave steals away Doris (if you reach the top), a heart is shown breaking. Doris is torn between Ginger Kevin and Dave!
Tell me thats not a bed?
It’s the classic love story between a man, a woman, and a gorilla. I wonder if anyone has made a film about that. I'd call it Big Dave: The Gorilla Falls in Love with a Human.
As you make your way up the building, Dave throws barrels at you, which I have to assume is something wild gorillas do in the deep, darks of Africa. I don’t know where the barrels come from; I assume they have Amazon Prime. (I had a great joke lined up here about the Amazon being big in Africa and then remembered the Amazon is in South America, bloody geography ruining my jokes.)
If a barrel hits you, you die! No messing around, you just straight-up die. Luckily, you can jump the barrels, which is fun, or whack them with what looks like Mallet’s Mallet from Wac-A-Day.
You have to make your way up the ladders until you reach the top. Once there, Dave steals Doris away again and you move onto Level 2.
The World's Strangest Factory
Level 2 has a conveyor belt with what I think are custard pies on it. It’s very weird that the building contains barrels and custard pies.
Custard pies or bowls of cornflakes
The third level involves lifts and a weird bouncing I, and I do mean “I” as in the letter, not an “eye”. This would also be weird, but for different reasons.
I’ve just done some research — I know, get me — and in the arcade these weird “I”s are supposed to be, I think, pogo sticks. What the hell kind of factory is this? I’m all for diversifying your product portfolio (I watch The Apprentice), but this is madness.
Level 4 involves pretty much the same as Level 1, but it’s a different layout. Oh, and if you get to the top, for some reason, Dave will fall and hit the ground.
Then you start all over again. Such fun!
It's Not Mystic Energy
During this, a weird thing chases you around as well, which I always assumed was some kind of weird mystic energy. I wish I were joking. I was a very imaginative kid.
Turns out it’s actually fire, which is no explanation at all. How does fire chase you?
Fire or mystic energy?
Why Is Dave Orange?
I've always wondered why Dave is orange. Now, I'm no David Attenborough, but aren’t gorillas black? I get that a black gorilla on a black background was never going to work, but orange! It’s more like Killer Orangutan, although that doesn't work. Maybe Orrible Orangutan. I might send that to Microprose.
Gorilla. Apparently.
Doris Needs to Make More Effort
Doris doesn’t move, which gives her the appearance of a blow-up doll or possibly Aunty Sally from Wurzel Gummidge. I actually start to wonder if Doris is worth the effort. She doesn’t exactly help herself. It isn't like she is chained up; she is sitting on a bed, she could easily run away.
Poor old Dave has no animation when he moves; he just glides across the screen. It’s possible he is on roller skates, but I think this is a stretch too far.
The Handbag on a Pedestal
This thing at the bottom of the screen on Level 1 is apparently a trash fire. I have spent 40-odd years thinking it was a handbag on a pedestal. I’m not joking, I thought that’s what it was.
Handbag or fire
Why is it in a building site? I don’t know why it is the gorilla orange!
Childhood Memories
Killer Gorilla was one of those games I played a lot of when I was a kid. I never got very far (I think I saw Level 2 a few times), but it was fun enough to keep trying.
Would you play it now over the official Donkey Kong? Well, I would, because Dave, Doris and Ginger Kev hold a special place in my heart.
Box Art
I am struggling to find the box for Killer Gorilla. I can find the BBC Micro version but not the CPC one. Weird.
Why don’t I review from memory, I hear you cry.
Because I only had a pirated copy. I know it’s wrong, but I was poor and needed games. To be fair to me, I don’t actually know where it even came from. I didn’t get it.
The box art for the Micro version is, erm, well, it’s odd.
The BBC Micro box art
I have no idea why Ginger Kevin is wearing what I can only describe as the worst of 80s fashion. Nor why he is holding an axe he has clearly borrowed from a passing dwarf.
The gorilla is clearly trying not to fall off the already shaky building he’s on, and the barrels — why are there barrels at the top? Did he take them up there?
Killer Gorilla
A shameless Donkey Kong clone that somehow became one of those games I remember far more fondly than I probably should.
Not exactly Donkey Kong, but it was one of those games I played as a kid and kept going back to. Dave, Doris and Ginger Kev win.